The worst feeling in the world.

Have you ever known someone for an amount of time that seems to feel like either a day or forever and in reality it lies somewhere in between? But slowly, it becomes apparent to you that the person you thought you knew was only a collage of the good things you knew to be true and the things you wished to be true. The real personality, soul, and truth of that person is unmasked to be ugly and hateful, not at all what you loved at first.Now imagine, despite knowing the truth, loving someone even greater than that which they may deserve. Persevering to see what is good and what is whole and well, only to be disappointed endlessly with the shame and disrespect of the truth. Not only faithfully persevering once or even twice, but countless millions of times.The worst feeling is knowing that now the beauty you once saw is just as ugly as the truth. And knowing that even if the beauty and hope could be restored or renewed, the ugly scars are still left behind to remind you forever of the past.Does love make you do stupid things? If our brains are so full of knowledge and love is just a chemical reaction in the brain, why isn't the brain logical enough to inhibit that reaction to keep us moving forward on the right path? Why does love reach down into your soul, so firmly and deeply, longingly and desperately cleaving to the half that in theory makes it whole? Why does love make you happy, sad, confused, angry, and lonely all at the same time?If "he's the one" isn't the one, then how on earth do I know who is? Or is he?The worst feeling is not knowing whether or not you should try one last time, or move on like you promised you would.